When you haven’t been able to get groceries, and settled for cereal for dinner.
Remember, you are enough.
When laundry is piled high, you haven’t showered in days, and you feel like you are drowning in a to do list.
Remember, you are enough.
When your child is struggling and yells at you to “go away.”
Remember, you are enough.
When your worried about all of your life choices, from child led weaning to choosing to homeschool.
Remember, you are enough.
It’s easy to feel like you are failing as a mother. Guilt sneaks in there without invitation. It’s always easy to believe those words of fear. Fear of not having enough or being enough.
As you eat your cereal together, look at your child. Take in the features of their little faces. Smile at them. Maybe even act a bit silly. Focus on appreciating this moment of connection rather than focusing on your (too high) expectations.
As you look at that teetering pile of dirty clothes, your messy hair tied up in a bun, you feel that dread starting to pour into your mind, that dread of feeling like you aren’t enough. Remember, you are more then enough. Laundry will always be there. You wear clothes, you wash clothes, you wear clothes. They will be there today and tomorrow. Your value isn’t determined by how much laundry you have washed today. Your value is in who you are as a person. The deep core of you. Nurturing, selfless, witty, courageous.
When your child pushes you away, you feel pain and confusion. “Am I not enough?” In the book, What Happy People Know, Dr. Dan talks about the dance between the reptile and spirit. Your reptile brain is what feels fear. Your spirit is your higher brain that allows you to think higher thoughts beyond fear, to love. When you are filled with guilt, doubts and fear, the reptile is winning. Your fear is winning. Move past that fear, chanting “I am enough,” and go to your child. When they push you away, they need you the most.
When you feel like you are drowning. “I have to do laundry, wash the dishes, feed the children, take a shower, pay the bills, get groceries for dinner, take so and so to practice, feed myself at some point.” Just stop. Tell your mind to stop. Take some deep, filling breaths. And remember that you are enough. Pass off chores to someone else or leave them undone. Feed your own soul for a bit. Take a shower. Lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Cuddle your babies. Eat take out on paper plates.
When fears like “I don’t think I am capable of homeschooling my kids, I don’t think I know enough, am good enough,” penetrate your mind, stop them in their tracks. When you worry that your child will never be out of diapers or ever feed themselves by their own choice, remember, they will. Because they are a capable. And you are good enough.
You are nurturing many lives in this parenting journey. Being present is more important than the chores. Being happy is definitely more important than the laundry. Happiness comes from appreciating what is right in front of you, from love, from personal power, from having choices, from giving to others. Approaching life with humor and a positive perspective. Finding joy in the little things.
Always remember, you are enough.
