It’s not an emergency.
It’s not an emergency.
It’s not an emergency.
I practice this mantra on a regular basis. But in the heat of the moment I still don’t always remember it.
Tonight I yelled. I am not a yeller. I very rarely raise my voice. (My regular struggle is typically more with a ‘tone’ of voice.)
But…
Tonight I yelled. It’s a strange experience for me when I yell. It was over in 3 seconds and I can’t even tell you exactly what I said. But when I yell it’s as though I can feel myself as a child being yelled at. And my parents were not yellers either. My Dad never yelled and my Mum very rarely yelled. (Their struggle was with a tone of voice too. Go figure.) But it did happen from time to time and the memory is in there, memory I feel more than I recall. These are not the types of sense memories I want my kids to have.
But…
Tonight I yelled. And then I stopped myself. And I took 3 breaths and told myself it’s not an emergency. It’s a screaming 4 year old and a wailing 8 month old and a lot of felt pen everywhere and two poop filled diapers. But it’s NOT AN EMERGENCY.
And I told my daughter I was sorry I yelled and that I was frustrated by too many things happening at once. And she burst into tears (well more tears, she was already so upset about all the felt pen all over her) and told me she didn’t want me to yell. I told her I didn’t want me to yell either.
We finished getting her cleaned up and we changed her pull-up and changed her brothers diaper. And I snuggled her and nursed him. And everything was calm again.
It was not an emergency.
It was not an emergency.
It was not an emergency.
Practice it. It helps. I will keep practicing too.
4 Comments
[…] Velcro apart. That reaction isn’t you, it isn’t who you want to be. That trigger isn’t an emergency (that fight or flight response makes it feel like it), it is just a behavior. Separate yourself […]
[…] Many of us are familiar with the it’s too quiet scenario. It’s finally quiet for a few minutes. You know, however, there’s likely a little tornado creating some havoc with nail polish or toothpaste somewhere. The question..do you enjoy those precious minutes of silence, at the risk of the, yet, unquantifiable wreckage? I usually cop whatever mess transpires for those few minutes. Even if some mess and chaos has resulted, it’s helpful to remember that it most likely is not an emergency. I love this article. […]
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